[Verse 1]
Drownin' in the Blue Nile
He sent me "Downtown Lights"
I hadn't heard it in a while
My boredom's bone-deep
This cage was once just fine
Am I allowed to cry
I dream of crackin' locks
Throwin' my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks
Crashin' into him tonight, he's a paradox
I'm seeing visions
Am I bad or mad or wise

[Chorus]
What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind
One slip and fallin' back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
I keep recalling things we never did
Messy top lip kiss, how I long for our trysts
Without ever touchin' his skin
How can I be guilty as sin

[Verse 2]
I keep these longings locked
In lowercase, inside a vault
Someone told me, "There's no such thing as bad thoughts
Only your actions talk"
These fatal fantasies
Giving way to labored breath, takin' all of me
We've already done it in my head
If it's make-believe
Why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow

[Chorus]
What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind
One slip and fallin' back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
My bed sheets are ablaze
I've screamed his name
Buildin' up like waves crashin' over my grave
Without ever touchin' his skin
How can I be guilty as sin

[Bridge]
What if I roll the stone away
They're gonna crucify me anyway
What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy
If long-suffering propriety is what they want from me
They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly
I choose you and me religiously

[Chorus]
What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind
One slip and fallin' back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
I keep recalling things we never did
Messy top lip kiss, how I long for our trysts
Without ever touchin' his skin
How can I be guilty as sin

[Outro]
He sent me "Downtown Lights"
I hadn't heard it in a while
Am I allowed to cry